something i have had learn over and over again is that not everyone is going to like you no matter how hard you try. these past 6 months have been interesting, to say the least, and full of learning. i moved back to ut and have absolutely loved being back- i gained such a greater appreciation for ut since leaving. however, coming back to ut has also been a little difficult in the aspect of a social life. shortly after moving back i became aware of nasty things that were being said about me and the reason i moved back home. i will not go in to detail of those, no need to dwell.. however, i was in complete shock those things would be said period, and ultimately about me. if people knew the reason i actually moved back, maybe they would shut their traps- but no need to fuel the fire, right? at first i was completely heartbroken and was sick to my stomach these things were being said- i feel like i am genuinely a good person. am i perfect? no, far from it, however, i try my best and my best is what i can do. i was crying to a really good friend of mine on the phone questioning how anyone would come up with these nasty things to say or why anyone would say them in the first place, and they told me "ashlee, these are outrageous things to say, do you honestly think people believe them? and if they do, screw them. it shows on their character, not yours" that really stuck with me. it's true, i don't need to defend myself and prove whether something is true or not- the people who truly care about you and believe in you, are not going to be involved in these sort of childlike manners.
when someone doesn't like you, it doesn't mean you are a terrible person or there is something wrong with you. as the saying goes "you could be the ripest peach and someone is also going to want an apple" (or something to that extent haha) just do you, and those that like that and accept it will join you. like i mentioned earlier, i'm not perfect, nor will i ever claim to be. i take each day at a time and make stupid mistakes often, but i learn from them. am i the same person i was a year ago, or even a month ago? certainly not even close. i'm sure i've said this a million times, but this year has been probably the hardest emotionally, physically, and mentally for me; but on the other hand, it has also been the most learning. i've learned more about myself; who i am, and who i want to become. and who i am becoming is okay that she can't please and be liked by everyone.